End of the Heidelberg Chapter of my Summer
It's 0130 as I sit down to write this. In six hours I'll leave my house in Leimen to travel to Frankfurt, where I'll catch a plane to Philadelphia. God willing, 9 hrs after that I'll be in the United States of America. I'm finished packing; my suitcase it loaded, my guitar is sitting by the front door. The only thing left to put into my backpack is the laptop I'm typing on. The only thing left for me to do is try to sum up my time in Heidelberg.
This summer hasn't gone nearly the way I had imagined. I came over with the memory of last year's wasted summer fresh in my mind and a firm resolve to make the most of this one. I lined up a number of projects: I was going to take lots of photos, paint some scenes, and brew my own beer. The only one of the above that I even made a little headway on was the photography bit, and technical difficulties snagged that project up pretty well. But all that is alright, because I just had the most productive summer I've ever had. God's plan for my summer included something much more important than pursuing some vain hobbies. He sent me to minister and serve youth in my community, and along the way brought brothers and sisters into my life that he used to grow me and love me.
As far as growth goes, God showed me some of what He's capable and willing to do through me. He also showed areas of rebellion in my life. While it's not fun to discover flaws in yourself, I'm still encouraged by seeing it. I know He'll not leave me alone until He's finished His work in me, and now I have recent examples of just how powerfully He desires to move in my life.
Becoming friends with so many of you has been an honor and something of a surprise. I let my defenses down without even consciously realizing it, and grew closer than I was expecting to the people here. So saying goodbye to Heidelberg and the people in it, especially for quite possibly the last time, hurts. It hurts much more than it has for years. But even that is for God's glory, though, because I hadn't realized that I'd even I'd put back walls around my heart until they were breached. I don't want to go through life holding people at arms length to avoid pain when we part. So I'm going to very consciously try to keep my defenses down and make the most out of the opportunities for relationships I'm given, no matter the cost. And heck, at least I feel something that way, which is much better than the emotional numbness that so often characterizes my condition.
I would have loved to spend more time with the people here, both those I recently met and those I've known for a while. But this is all the time God gave me. So here I say goodbye to those of you I leave behind. Thank you all for your companionship; I've treasured the role you have played in my life this summer. Despite all the demands that day to day living imposes on my time and focus, I'm going to try to stay in touch with as many of you as I can. But if we don't keep in close contact, it's not because I don't love you; I love you all dearly. I'll see you all someday, either sooner or later. Until then,
For His glory,
Matt
This summer hasn't gone nearly the way I had imagined. I came over with the memory of last year's wasted summer fresh in my mind and a firm resolve to make the most of this one. I lined up a number of projects: I was going to take lots of photos, paint some scenes, and brew my own beer. The only one of the above that I even made a little headway on was the photography bit, and technical difficulties snagged that project up pretty well. But all that is alright, because I just had the most productive summer I've ever had. God's plan for my summer included something much more important than pursuing some vain hobbies. He sent me to minister and serve youth in my community, and along the way brought brothers and sisters into my life that he used to grow me and love me.
As far as growth goes, God showed me some of what He's capable and willing to do through me. He also showed areas of rebellion in my life. While it's not fun to discover flaws in yourself, I'm still encouraged by seeing it. I know He'll not leave me alone until He's finished His work in me, and now I have recent examples of just how powerfully He desires to move in my life.
Becoming friends with so many of you has been an honor and something of a surprise. I let my defenses down without even consciously realizing it, and grew closer than I was expecting to the people here. So saying goodbye to Heidelberg and the people in it, especially for quite possibly the last time, hurts. It hurts much more than it has for years. But even that is for God's glory, though, because I hadn't realized that I'd even I'd put back walls around my heart until they were breached. I don't want to go through life holding people at arms length to avoid pain when we part. So I'm going to very consciously try to keep my defenses down and make the most out of the opportunities for relationships I'm given, no matter the cost. And heck, at least I feel something that way, which is much better than the emotional numbness that so often characterizes my condition.
I would have loved to spend more time with the people here, both those I recently met and those I've known for a while. But this is all the time God gave me. So here I say goodbye to those of you I leave behind. Thank you all for your companionship; I've treasured the role you have played in my life this summer. Despite all the demands that day to day living imposes on my time and focus, I'm going to try to stay in touch with as many of you as I can. But if we don't keep in close contact, it's not because I don't love you; I love you all dearly. I'll see you all someday, either sooner or later. Until then,
For His glory,
Matt
posted by Indagator at 7:30 PM
1 Comments:
ok im feeling a little too
special. all this attention
lately has left me feeling
weird and sappy. i can meet
ya where you're at on the
'walls' deal, you put it just
the right way--not knowing you
had the walls until they were
breached--yep, i hear ya. i NEVER
expected my summer to be this
wrenching, growing, exhilarating.
who'da thunk? God is powerful,
mighty, awesome, and has a
great sense of humor. Best of
all, He never has anything but
the best of intentions for our
lives. Most encouraging. it does
hurt to leave. but God has done
his work through you here. He'll
show you what to do next. Keep
up the awesome willingness to
be owned by an awesome God.
better stay in contact...we've got some football games to war
over this fall!
have a safe trip.
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